Balance

Okay, I've played MMOs. Lots and lots of MMOs. It all started with UO and the beta of EQ, but a lot has changed in my life and in the way I see games since then.

When I beta tested and then played the live version of EQ, I was engaged to what was to be my first wife. After about a month of the live game I gave it up for her because I realized that with the amount of time I played the game, I was truly neglecting her. Obviously if she was okay with that then it wasn't much of a relationship, and if I was okay with neglecting her then the same could be said. I still played games, but I went back to my original loves of FPSes and RPGs. My wife really didn't like me gaming, but at least I wasn't neglecting her.

Needless to say, I'm no longer with that woman, though it had nothing to do with video games and all to do with simple incompatibility. So I went back to MMOs after being married to her for a whole year (lol), and didn't really have an issue since I wasn't involved with anyone seriously and my best friend was also a gamer.

A couple years later I met my current wife on the 'net, and we share many more interests, including games. She had never played FPSes or MMOs, so I got her interested and then seriously involved. We played video games together quite a bit, usually every night, and for a long time they were MMOs that we were very serious about, with friends we'd met in person and guilds that we had commitments to. After losing my job and having to cut costs to survive while I found another one I realized how much money we spent each month on MMOs and felt it had to stop for the time being ($75 for our various games). I got a job again a month later, but we had to play catch-up on our bills, so we didn't get back into games until a couple months after that. We went back to an old favorite, EQ, where we had met many of the people in person and were quite close to them. But due to some stuff I had read online and my own analytical thoughts, something didn't feel right. During the few months I had stopped playing I had succeeded in taking apart my Jeep down to its frame. Quite an accomplishment for someone who had no knowledge or interest in cars about a year before. But for the time I was playing EQ, I wasn't working on my Jeep at all. All my free time was spent playing EQ or doing the really 'needed' things like eating, sleeping, taking the kids places, etc. It was then that I finally decided I had to give it up. I didn't like the idea of an addiction to a false sense of accomplishment, which is really what it is. It's tiny little nuggets of 'grats' constantly, which causes certain chemicals to be released into the brain, and it's VERY understandable how one could get addicted to it, since it's a very basic human brain function to reward you for what you feel is an accomplishment. I got that chemical release, albeit slower, when doing work on my Jeep, and felt that it's much more of a real accomplishment there even if it never means anything in the grand scheme of life (I'll never be an auto mechanic, doubt I'll ever sell my Jeep, etc). I also remember getting that feeling when I was rock climbing 5 days a week, whenever I'd climb a new climb, or climb something better than I had, or even sometimes just getting to a new climbing place. Same thing with skateboarding when I'd learn a new trick or do one better. Luckily, I have never and will never have the same addiction to working, and have always averaged 40 hours a week at every job (quite an accomplishment for an IT engineer).

So I've forced myself to quit games for long periods of time now because I feel it's just plain healthier for me. I also don't believe that the addiction is all that harmful unless it prevents you from real accomplishments. If you're in a steady job, or still accomplishing schoolwork spending all your free time playing games, it's still a hobby and not really a hindrance. However, if you lose your job because of the game, and have little motivation to look for another one because you're too busy playing, then it's just as bad as drugs, alcohol, whatever. Same goes for attention to your mate. If your mate plays the games you're in and is happy with the interaction you get there, then it's fine. Each case is different, and mine just happened to be mild. I didn't ask my wife to quit games for me, I let her make her own decision, and she decided she'd quit to not only make it easier on me, but so she could join me in the things I do. I will miss getting to play MMOs with her, but we will at least still have the Wii, PS3, FPSes, etc, that don't cause that addicting chemical release and that I don't feel I have to play constantly.

At the very least this'll mean that I have less wrist pain and more general health.